No cuts...no butts...

I always liked that little tune...no cuts, not butts, no coco-nuts. Don't ask me why. It's so funny how we can remember the stupidest things from our childhoods but can't remember what we ate for breakfast. People at work have warned me never to grow old and I'm starting to understand why.
So, I went to a wedding today. It was a full-on Catholic wedding, complete with communion. I normally would have taken communion, one- because I was sitting in the back and really didn't want to walk all the way to the front, two- I haven't been to church a a long time and three- as blasphemous as it sounds, I really don't like the taste of the hosts. So, Laura being as pushy as she is, makes me go up with her and take communion. As I said, we were in the back of the church, the last row (which is a good thing because we obviously have not grown out of our bad church manners) so we were bound to be the last ones to get communion.
About halfway up the aisle a lady got up for communion, I don't know if she missed it when her whole pew got up or if she was just going back for seconds, needless to say she got behind me. Two lines formed but there was only one priest giving out hosts, so when there were only five people left we decided to stay on one side. Apparently, this did not please this lady. When I was to be next, she cut around (running into my purse) and went in the other, non-existant line. What? Who has ever been cut off in communion? Doesn't that seem sort of non-Christian? Then after she got her host, because she apparently was in a hurry, I stood back so she could cross in front of me and she wouldn't move. I was the last person in line and just standing there not taking a host. I must have looked like such a jerk. She was the one who was in the wrong and she made it seem like it was all my fault! I was just so confused! She's lucky that I didn't see her at the reception because I totally would have kicked her ass in a dance off!!!!