25 is the New 65

Don't you just love it when something is the new something? Like Pink is the new black. How can that be? Pink is pink and black is black, they're absolutely nothing like each other. I know that people were just trying to state that pink is becoming more popular and may take over the color black's status in the world of fashion. I get it all right. It's just the terminology. Who came up with that? With that being said let me explain to you why I think 25 is the new 65.
I know you're probably thinking 25 is nothing like 65, well you're wrong. Damn wrong.
* At 25, you are a quarter of a century old. You're no longer allowed to associate your age in years, it is only allowed to be expressed in correlation to a century. For example, 65 equals more than half of a century or 65% of a century. What? You've never heard these terms? You must be living in a cave!
* When you turn 25, you aren't as flexible, as you were at say 18. You can't just go out and play basketball all day without feeling the repercussions later. People who are 65 have aches and pains too, but it's from walking and stuff.
* Unless you have kids at 25, you realize how disrespectful and annoying they can be. Remember that old lady that lived on your block that would yell at you everytime your ball went into her yard and tried to hit you with her cane when you went to retreive it? Yeah, you going to turn into her. At 65, you are her. Plus, you'll start saying things like "kids these days" and "those darn hoodlums" oh and don't forget to refer to kids as "Rapscallions and Riff Raff."
* You'll realize how precious getting a good night's sleep really is. You may have been one of those people who are out all hours of the night, just wait until you hit the big 25. Somehow you'll land a 9-5 job if you haven't done so already. You'll sit in traffic for hours trying to get to and from work. By the time you get home, you'll want to eat and relax. Not go out. People who are 65 do the same thing, except, they aren't working all day (Those bastards are retired!). They need to relax from a day of playing golf, or shopping, or gardening.
* I almost forgot to mention you'll be going to bed consistantly before midnight. Just like old people.
So you see, 25 is a lot like 65. You can do your best not to let it be so, but in the long-run you succumb to old age. That's the way the cookie crumbles. Mmmmm Cookies.