Hey! Pay Attention!

I don't know about you but I have noticed a lack in the attention span of just about everyone around me. Everyone is constantly checking their phones to see if someone called or texted. (is the past tense text or texted?) People in a bar with a tv seem to be drawn to it. Even if it's something that they're not interested in, they tend to look at it over and over again. I'm definitely guilty of this myself but I know when to really pay attention.

Case in point, I went to the R.E.M. concert on Friday, I was dancing and singing throughout the entire concert. Even if they were playing songs that I didn't really know, I sang anyways. Unfortunately, I could not say the same for everyone around me. There were so many people that were sitting there texting people all concert long. It seriously looked like they weren't having a good time. Then there were the eaters. I saw this one group of guys that had popcorn, hot dogs and ice cream all in the two hours R.E.M. played. Do you really go to a concert to eat "ball park food". I have to say that the worst people were those who rented a sky box. There were several boxes that had the Cubs game on. Seriously? Why would you pay several hundred dollars to watch the Cubs game at a concert when you could do that at a bar or at home? Watch the concert! That's what you're there for. Michael Stipe is pretty entertaining to watch...so watch him. Forget about your friends who aren't at the concert, food or the game for one night. Just live in the moment. You can't truely have a good time if you aren't invested.

That's another thing that bothered me at the concert, there were so many people just sitting there, like they were being paid to fill the seats and hated the fact that they were at "work". It reminded me of the audience members at MTV Unplugged concerts. Those jerks just sat in chairs, maybe bopped their heads or tapped their feet to the music. There were no expressions on their faces. They really didn't look like they were having fun. Come on! Why would you pay for a ticket to a concert and hear live music, just to go there and seem uninterested? Get up, dance, sing at the top of your lungs! That's what it's all about! Don't sit there and force the people next to you to stand sideways so their butt isn't in your face. (That's what I had to do, stand sideways so I wasn't getting in the face of the lady next to me...in case you're wondering.)

After experiencing the lamest crowd I have ever seen in my life, I have decided to make more of a conscious effort to live in the moment; enjoy the company of those around me, instead of escaping to my cellphone and trying to include people that aren't there; and be all over more invested in what I'm doing, hearing or seeing. I encourage you to do the same.

High Gas Prices- My Conspiracy Theory

All right, I know that everyone is probably sick and tired of people complaining about high gas prices, but I just thought I'd add my two cents.

I have never been one to come up with a theory about anything important, traffic and weather are my two specialties, but I do have one on gas. I know there is an increase in the cost of oil from the middle east, yadda yadda yadda, but I think there is something else behind it. I think that the politicians and the oil companies that stuff thier pockets are forcing America to go green. Just think about it for a minute. The cost of gas has risen about a dollar each year for the past two years, well, haven't we had an "oil crisis" for about 7 years? How come it's getting steeper and steeper? Furthermore, what happened to ethanol gas? Wasn't that supposed to be made out of corn? If we could make corn gas, why do we need oil? Do you suppose that the oil companies bought out the scientists who wanted to make this cleaner and presumably cheaper form of gas? Interesting.

What is also interesting is the whole "go green" thing. Now, I'm a not fan of killing the environment just because you want to, but some people are just taking it too far. Like the Oscars going green, maybe I just don't understand how they could go green, but there was no apparent difference that they were "green". It's not like they gathered up oscar statues from people that have died and just gave them away to other people.

"And the winner is...Cate Blanchett."
"Um...this says Katherine Hepburn."
"Just go with it. Start the music."

What's my point? I have a sneaky suspicion that the government is attempting to force people into going green. Ok, hear me out. The hybrid car has become incresingly popular. Suppose some big bad governmental types decided to buy stock in the hybrid when it was a newer idea. All they would have to do to increase appeal of the hybrid, is to give people a reason to buy it. Environmentally consciencous people may have run out to buy one when they found out yet another way to decrease their carbon footprint on this earth, but what about the rest of us? The people who are too lazy to try on a pair of pants at the store, buy them, don't like the fit, and keep them just because we are too lazy to go back to the store and return them. (Not like I've done that before.) How could they get those kinds of people to try a hybrid. Why! Raise the gas prices of course! Make it so unbearable to purchase a tank of gas, people will be begging for an alternative.

I paid just over $60 for a tank of gas yesterday. I could buy a pair of shoes with that! A tank will last me 3-4 days, so on average I buy two tanks of gas a week. That's $120 or two pairs of shoes. If I were to actually buy shoes instead of gas I could have 104 pairs of shoes in a years time. That sure is a lot of shoes, but they aren't going to help me go the 60 miles to and from work. Or are they? If I were to walk 120 miles a day for 3-4 days, I would surely have to get a new pair of shoes. Hence a 104 pairs a year makes sense. But would it make sense to walk 120 miles a day considering it takes me about a half hour to go 1.5 miles? Probably not. What to do, what to do? If only there were an alternative to spending $120 per week on gas or shoes, whatever your preference, if only.

Da da da da! Enter the hybrid! That gets 50 miles per gallon of gas. Did she say 50? Yes, 50. So hypothetically I could go to and from work, five days a week, with only one fill up? Sign me up.

And there you have it people. The oil companies, governmental jerks, and the hippie hybrid inventors have banded together to make the lives of the "average joe" a living hell. That is unless we buy a hybrid. So, what's it going to be? Are you going to spend a few extra bucks upfront to purchase a fuel efficient hybrid? Or are you going to continue to drive your gasguzzling monster of a car, just in spite of the people who want you to get rid of it?

Boo...Cold Weather

Ok, I know it's October and it's supposed to be a cold month...but come on! It was in the 80s at the beginning of this week and now it's sitting pretty in the 50s. And even colder at night. It's just not fair. I was all ready to head into November wearing a light jacket. That's not happening. We'll probably be wearing winter coats and hats by the end of next week. Booo.

On the plus side, cold weather means the coming of another Shantz Theater Holiday show. Everyone who reads this blog has to come and see it or you'll die! I was trying to turn this into one of those horrible chain letters that claim to do horrible things to you if you don't follow the directions. Seeing as I hate those letters with a passion, I can't do it. Plus, if you read my blog, chances are that you're a person that I like and I would feel horrible if you died. Anywhoosle, the show runs December 7-23, it's at 10pm on Fridays and Saturdays, and 7pm on Sundays at Gorilla Tango Theater. You're probably thinking "Wow, December is a long time away." I got new for you...it's just around the corner, that's why I thought I'd tell you early, so you can't say "Oh, I wish you would have told me earlier, I'm just so busy with the holidays"...blah blah blah. No excuses! It's October, you know about it....so plan on seeing it. It's going to be awesome! The title is "No-El, How the BlagojaGrinch Stole Christmas." Ok, I don't know how to spell BlagojaGrinch, but it's an awesome word none the less. So, come see the show. I guarantee a good time!

Dollar Movies and Music

This past weekend I went down to visit my friend Kris in the St. Louis area. Everytime I go down there, we plan on doing a bunch of things and end up doing nothing--which I have absolutley no problem with. This time we watched a few movies, including an independant film called Park with Ricki Lake, Cherie O'Terri, and Billy Baldwin, that was pretty funny. If you happen to see it on HBO it's worth watching. So, yeah, we did that, played some wii, and then ventured out to see Shrek 3 at the theaters.

I know you're thinking, Shrek 3? That was out months ago. You're right my friend, but could you see it for a dollar a few months ago? No, no you could not. The movie theater by Kris' house is a regular theater but had a few older movies playing for a dollar. Honestly, who could beat that? We went and got our cokes and Kit Kats, found our seats and sat in anticipation of the third Shrek. The previews started, well, actually the commercials. Why do they have commercials before movies these days? It's so annoying. I go to the movies to get away from commercials and there they are, creeping up on me. Anyways, a commercial for the St. Louis Ambassadors of Harmony comes up. Well, at least I thought it was a commercial. It started out pretty corny..."Did you know that St. Louis had a harmony choir? Well, they do..." Ok, so it goes on and the choir starts singing. This choir is made up of 150 highly animated men singing their hearts out. They're singing and singing....and singing...ok, they've been singing for a pretty long time. If you have a commercial, you have 30 seconds tops of singing, right. Well, these guys have been singing for a couple of minutes. In fact, they're singing an entire song. Kris and I seem to be the only two people in the theater that find this both odd and amuzing. We try our hardest to contain our laughter but it slips out and we're stuck in a talespin of giggles. Luckily, the choir has finished their song. Good. The movies should be starting soon. Wrong again. The choir starts singing a new song. This time it's about a fiddle and they have a massive fiddle standing up in the middle of them and are playing it with a huge bow that one of their choir mates are sitting on. What the hell? Is this why we paid a dollar for this movie? It's not really Shrek 3, but Shrek 3 as interpreted by the St. Louis Ambassadors of Harmony. At this point, I have lost all restraint and start laughing the hardest I've laughed in a long time. I have a hard time catching my breath. I'm sure I'm bothering all of the other patrons in the theater, who obviously are intrigued by this harmony choir. Sorry people. Thankfully, the end of the fiddle song, was the end of the promo for the choir. Phew. I can breath again. Thank you St. Louis Ambassadors of Harmony for making my day.

If anyone wants to check them out, their website is www.aoh.org. Sadly, you can't watch any of their performances on their stie. Appartenly, you have to go see a dollar movie to do that. Ah, or go to one of their shows.

My Beef- September Edition

It's been a while since I've complained about random things. So, here it is people. Enjoy!

1. What genius came up with the idea of the peanut butter twix that has the chocolate cookie? I'll admit, I tried it, cause it was something different, and it tasted like crap. Don't they test products anymore? The peanut butter twix was perfect and then they had to go and change the cookie. It was just a bad idea. The worst part of this experiment is that they have taken the old version of the peanut butter twix off of the shelves, so I can't enjoy the classic taste even if I wanted to. Note to candy people: don't mess with the originial, and if you do, put both versions on the shelves so we can snub your experiment if it's terrible.

2. Daytime TV is getting boring. You never realize how many times Full House is on everyday, until you flip through the channels just about every hour throughout the day. If I could have just been one of DJ's or Stephanie's classmates and on for a few episodes, I could totally live off of the royalties. Too bad that show was too expensive to keep running, (Yes, I watched the E! True Hollywood Story on it.) we could be enjoying many more years of their re-runs. Oh well.

3. What's that saying...take a picture, it'll last longer. I almost said this to a lady driving down the street who was obviously staring at me walking my sister's dog. I guess I would have stared at us too. See, the dog had one of those cones on her head, to keep her from rubbing her face on things, she has allergies. She got the cone yesterday. I have never in my life seen a dog that is so embarassed of the cone. She didn't want to go outside and when she did, the lady drove passed and stared at her, she turned to go back in the house. Awww, poor puppy. I think it's one of the saddest sites in the world...but one of the funniest too!

4. The new Fall season is starting for many shows this week and next. Well, with the exception of LOST. Ok, I'm a season behind anyways, but come on! I can't buy the third season on DVD until December! December! LOST is like a drug! I watched the first season and the night I finished it, I went out and bought the second season. It's just so good! I guess I can't re-watch the other two seasons in anticipation, or I could just keep watching Full House. Cut it out!

5. Next month I have three weddings to go to on the same day! What? Apparently, everyone wants to get married on Sweetest Day (October 20th). I still have yet to decide which one to go to. This is a tough decision! One is for a girl I went to college with, another I went to grade school with and finally a former co-worker (who just so happens to be on of my best friends' brother's). I verbally agreed to go to the last wedding, but now I'm not so sure. I wish I had like a helicopter, so I could go to all three. But, then which one would I choose to eat at? Oh decisions decisions.

Somebody's Got a Case of the Mondays

Why do people get angrier with age? Today I felt like I was in my 70s. I cursed construction that hasn't even started and to be honest with you, it ruined my whole morning. I saw that they are starting a road widening project on the only main road that runs by my house. Hooray for more lanes, boo for two or more years of construction hell. I am so sick of construction. One would think that if they were doing work on a road...widening it for instance, that they would widen the whole road and not a three mile section. Planning ahead apparently was not in the cards. Ahhhhh!!!! Curse you construction, curse you. Ok, done with that.

How come if you are the one that answers the phone, everything is suddenly your fault? Some jackass has to take everything that is bothering him in his shitty ass life and somehow turn it around and lay it on you. Oh, your kid needs braces, your wife fell off a roof and you're semi quadrapalegic...yep definitely my fault. Should I write the check out to the bank of who gives a shit? These are things that people have actually told me over the phone. What do you say to that...and how can someone be semi-quadrapalegic, wouldn't that just be parapelegic? Am I even spelling it right? What do you respond to that? I'm sorry for you, while dancing around on a ladder showing your perfectly straight teeth to anyone and everyone who looks your way. Why is that person dancing on a ladder? I don't know, but they sure to have nice teeth. Thank you.

I guess my beef is that some people feel it necessary to tell you their life stories in order to get something out of it. First of all, never tell the person who answers the phone, they have absolutely no say in the matter, secondly, you shouldn't be telling complete strangers intimate details of your life and finally, how does one know you're not lying? I'm not going to jump through the phone to inspect your daughter's disfigured teeth. (It would be cool to jump through phones though.) Get to the damn point and let me transfer you to someone who cares.
Jeez, I really do have a case of the Mondays. I hope that this goes away by tomorrow. I sound like a complete asshole. Eh!

Oh Lotto!

In checking my countless losing numbers for Mega Millions tonight, I decided to browse through their website and came upon a page that lists prizes that are unclaimed. They're all high priced prizes, I don't think that they're going to waste their time listing $2 winners. If you have a chance, browse through it yourself. It lists the game, prize and where the ticket was bought, just in case you're thinking "I bought a ticket for that game on that date, I bet it was the losing ticket I threw away." Hey, if you bought that ticket in Greenup, IL and never checked it, you may have won over $12 million. Where the hell is Greenup, IL. Is that really a place or did someone make it up to show that even small town folk can win the lotto. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. I guess the moral of the story is this...check your ticket, even if you didn't win the huge prize, you may have won a second chance drawing. Or maybe the moral is this...if you didn't win the big one, this ticket is useless. If that's the case, your prize will end up on the lotto site and drive people like me crazy knowing that some jerk threw away a ticket worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Seriously, how could you be so callous?