Self Serve

I've notice in the last few months that just about everything these days is becoming self serve. From butter for your popcorn to a grocery store check out line. The only thing that was self serve when I was younger, was gas. You had to make sure you pulled up to the self serve lane, otherwise some nice young man would come out, pump your gas, check your oil and clean your windows. Did that cost extra? Cause if it didn't, I don't know why we didn't do it. Don't get me wrong, I like certain self serve things, but when given the choice I think I would rather have someone else do it. I mean, isn't that what they're getting paid for?
I do like the self serve line at the grocery store. It's kind of fun scanning items and stuff. Not to mention, the line usually moves faster than the regular one. Unless you're behind someone who doesn't know how to use it. Honestly, if you don't know how to use it, don't go in the line! I was at Jewel a couple of weeks ago and there were two sets of people having trouble in the check out line. They actually had employees helping them out. What's the point of that? If you're going to have an employee helping you, might as well have them scan and bag your items. It would save the rest of us many headaches. Seriously, if you're too stupid to follow the step by step instructions on how to scan and bag items, maybe you should just kill yourself. If you ask me, that scanning lady talks way too much. There should be an accellerated check out line for those of us who aren't retarded. Ok, maybe not retarded just technologically challenged. Oh hell, it's just easier to say retarded.
I guess the conclusion that I've come to in my rant is this: self serve is good, full service is better but when in a hurry self serve is the way to go; that is unless you're behind an asshole that has no clue what the hell they are doing! Ok, just go with full serve, it doesn't cost anything and you can talk about the person who helped you. It's a win win situation!

Send this to ten people for good luck!

I just got another one of those e-mail forwards that says "If you send this to 10 people you get get money or get lucky" or whatever. You know what really bothers me about those? They state that if you don't send them out in 96 hours you will essentially have the worst luck ever. The one I just recieved mentions a couple stories of people that didn't sent the forwards out. Apparently, by not sharing the forward, people have lost their jobs, lost money and nearly lost loved ones. When did chain letters become so violent?
I remember getting chain letters as a kid. Getting mail was so exciting back then. I would wonder what the letter was before opening it. Once I became overly excited about my letter, I would open it, only to be disappointed by the words of a chain letter. I thought my friends cared enough about me to send me mail, but I was sorely mistaken. They didn't want to be cursed with bad luck, so they sent me the chain letter. Thanks a lot you assholes! I took them seriously for a while. I wrote out my ten copies and sent them off, but they just kept coming. There should have been a master list of everyone who had recieved the letter because it just didn't seem fair that you would send ten out and get eight more because your circle of friends was so small. One day I just got fed up and stopped sending out the letters. I think the whole things was a sham. My luck did change! I stopped getting chain letters.
Unfortunately now with the internet, I recieve more chain letters than I had as a kid. Perhaps the gods of chain letterdom are getting back at me for having ignored them for all these years. Honestly, who makes up chain letters? Some lonely people who want to instill fear into other people by telling them that they'll have back luck if they don't forward on their stupid little letter? You know what chain letter people, you and your letters can just kiss my ass! And if you don't you're going to have BAD LUCK!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Happy New Year!!!

It's January 1st and I've already written a blog. I'm definitely on top of shit! This is going to be a productive year. If you can tell anything about the upcoming year based on the first day of it- I won't work, I'll wake up to a nice breakfast, rehearse for a few hours, come home take a three hour nap, wake up and eat eat eat. I definitely could live with that. We all know that won't happen. I decided not to make any resolutions for this year. I do, however, want to make some predictions:

1. I'll have my gym membership for another entire year and only use it about a month.
2. Chocolate will become my new best friend.
3. There will only be two good movies that come out. (Honestly, what had happened to the motion picture industry?)
4. The Bears will make a sequel to the Superbowl shuffle.
5. I'll win the lottery.

If any, or all, of these predictions come true, I will quit my current job and begin my new career as an astrology writer. I'll keep my fingers crossed, I mean, I don't need luck, um..because I can predict stuff. Yeah, yeah.

I wish all of you, who read this blog a Happy Happy New Year. (All of you who don't read it will spend the rest of your lives- ok I was trying to think of a really good insult, but I was getting too political, too dirty or just too stupid. So, I'm just going to say you will have to spend the rest of your lives doing what you despise. In other words...just read my fucking blog)